The Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence agency explicitly stated that consent in marriage does not end at the altar,warning that intimacy must be consensual based,and a thing of duty...
They're emphasizing that consent is a continuous process, even within a marriage.
Here’s a summary of their key points:
The F.R.I.E.S. Acronym for Consent
The agency uses the F.R.I.E.S. acronym to define what true consent looks like:
1. Freely Given: Consent must be given without pressure, manipulation, or fear.
2. Reversible: A person can change their mind at any time, even during an intimate act. When they do, the other person must stop immediately.
3. Informed: Consent is only valid if a person has all the relevant information. For example, consent given under false pretenses is not valid.
4. Enthusiastic: Consent should be an active, enthusiastic "yes," not a passive or reluctant one. "Silence is no, reluctance is no."
5. Specific: Consent for one activity doesn't automatically mean consent for another.
Consent in Marriage
The agency stresses that a wedding vow doesn't negate the need for ongoing consent. They state that intimacy should always be a shared choice, not an obligation. Respecting a partner's "yes" or "no" is crucial for building trust and safety in a relationship.
When Consent is Withdrawn
They clarify that a person can withdraw consent at any point. If someone expresses discomfort or says "no" after an act has ended, it's a more complex situation. While it might not be considered a "withdrawal during," it could still be a case of sexual misconduct if the initial consent was obtained through pressure, fear, or a lack of full information.
Ultimately, their advice is to prioritize clear, enthusiastic, and ongoing consent throughout any intimate interaction. The safest and most respectful approach is to check in with your partner to ensure they are comfortable from beginning to end.